I suppose #introductions are in order again.
I'm 42, and neurodivergent in a few interesting ways. I'm a bit nervous about coming back but I hope I can make new friends and reconnect with old ones.
LGBT scenes circa 2011: Use 'they' UNTIL you know what someone's pronouns are, either by asking them directly in private or by talking to their savvy friend about it. Give your own pronouns with introductions. Don't out people or pressure them to divulge pronouns where that might out them. Correct yourself if you use the wrong pronoun.
[long-ass game of cultural telephone later]
cishet liberals: call people by the pronouns that go with what kinda junk I think they have unless I don't know them and I've clocked them as a trans woman, then use "they" and ask for specifically their pronouns in public in front of other people who may not have clocked them. Got it, seems easy enough
Transgender, uplifting/support (aimed at folks who are early in their journey)
By request, here's a public version of a toot I wrote as a reply to someone asking for encouragement. I hope this can help encourage you, too.
It's natural to want to run away from scary things like transitioning. Even if it's difficult and scary right now, the urge to run away and give up or get rid of things (like feminine clothing, make-up, etc.) that you've obtained to help you feel better is a fight-or-flight response.
It sounds so much easier to give up, but from my experience...even if it hurts now, it'll hurt even more later if you do give up.
Think of how you want to see yourself in five years. Don't think about right now or what could happen during transition; think about the person you want to strive to be. How does it make you feel when you think about it? It may seem like a dream. It did for me.
When I started transition, I never thought I'd ever be able to look like anything other than a dude. I catastrophized about worst-case scenarios, fully believing that these bad things would 100% happen. I wanted to give up so badly because I didn't think I'd ever have a "successful" transition. But I didn't give up, even though it hurt so much. I couldn't bear the thought of things being the same as they were then in another five years.
I won't say that transitioning is easy. Mine was full of stumbles and hardship. I lost my entire "family" (blood relatives). Bad things did happen. But here I am, 6 years later, and I actually ended up closer to what I had wanted to become. I feel like myself. It's life-changing. It was difficult. But I wouldn't have become who I am today had I not gone through with it. I regret nothing. This is a glimpse of my story.
It's your decision to make. I want you to think about how you feel. Even if you decide not to transition, you are still valid. You are still trans. You are still one of us. And you will still have my support. <3
I write stories and music. I'd like to be friends.
PDX, 42, Trans, Poly, Pansexual
Neurodivergent (ADHD, PTSD)
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